Debunking: God Wants You to Be Happy

I used to be married. Naturally, this means I no longer am. I remember one day, as my marriage was falling apart, my wife told me that God wanted her to divorce me, because God wanted her to be happy. And I wasn’t making her happy.
Now, America’s Declaration of Independence states that when God created us, He endowed us with three rights: life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. However, what we often fail to realize is that, while we have the right to pursue happiness, God does not guarantee that we will obtain it. In fact, I would maintain that there are times when God does things to assure that we do not obtain happiness. But why?
Too often we turn to the wrong things to make us happy. Some think they will find happiness in a bottle or a needle. Single people often think they will find happiness in marriage. Married people sometimes pine for the day when they were single. Some think they will find happiness in extra-marital affairs or a series of lovers. Some attach happiness to the success of their favorite sports team
It should be noted that some of the activities we engage in as we pursue happiness are not inherently sinful. Certainly, being married is not a sin. Nor is being single. There’s nothing wrong with rooting for your favorite team to do well (Unless your favorite team is either the Dallas Cowboys or the New York Yankees). Even an occasional drink is okay, as long as you don’t get drunk.
The problem is when we pursue these things out of a selfish desire for happiness. Such selfishness is inherently sinful, and God will not bless it. Additionally, such things provide momentary happiness, at best. Whatever joy or happiness we find in them does not last very long, because they were never intended to give us lasting happiness. Hence, when the happiness wears out, we are quick to pursue the next object or activity that we think will make us happy.
Note that we move on, not to what will make us happy, but to what we think will make us happy. Herein we see the error of our thinking. We search for happiness in all the wrong ways and all the wrong places.
God’s desire for our happiness is predicated on our relationship with Him and our obedience to His will. If our relationship is either stagnant or nonexistent, and if we are not living according to His precepts, then He has a way of making sure that the happiness we seek eludes us. The pleasure expected from that wild party or that inappropriate relationship just won’t be there. The ballgame will turn out to be boring. The new gadget won’t work right, causing us frustration. Even within marriage, we will become disillusioned and look for a way out.
What God desires for us is not so much that we would be happy, but that we would be holy. I Thessalonians 4:3 says, “For this is the will of God, your sanctification.”
In his sermon this week, PJ told us that God’s desire is that we would be blessed, rather than happy. In making this point, he turned to the beatitudes from Matthew 5. “Blessed are the poor in spirit…Blessed are those who mourn…Blessed are the meek…”
Now, what is the connection between what Jesus said in Matthew 5 and what Paul wrote in I Thess. 4:3? Those who are holy are poor in spirit. They are people who mourn over the sins they’ve committed, having a desire to no longer sin. People who are holy are also meek. In short, the beatitudes give us a general description of what it means to be holy. The same could be said of Galatians 5:22-23, which describes the fruit of the Spirit. And people who exhibit these characteristics are blessed by God.
The one irony to point out here is that, while we are debunking the myth that says, “God wants you to be happy,” the word “blessed,” which Jesus uses in Matt. 5, essentially means to be happy. This leads to the question, if to be blessed is to be happy, then what is wrong with the statement that God wants us to be happy?
Again, everything points back to motive and the attitude of our hearts. God does want us to be happy. But He wants us to be happy in Him.


QUESTIONS FOR STUDY AND APPLICATION

1. Read both Matthew 5:3-10 and Galatians 5:22-23. What types of connection can you make between these two passages?


2. From Matthew 5, which of the beatitudes speaks most meaningfully to you?


3. What do you predominantly turn to in your pursuit of happiness? How are you selfish in the ways you seek happiness? Is there a more appropriate way to engage in these same activities, or are they things that you need to give up altogether?