Debunking: A Christian Home Guarantees Christian Children

I think we’ve all heard of someone who gets caught up in some illegal (or at least immoral) behavior that becomes habitual. He/she goes to see a psychologist to figure out what is causing this behavior. And how many times have we heard of such a person coming out of the psychologist’s office, saying, “It was my parents’ fault,” “My dad was never there for me,” “My mom wasn’t very nurturing,” or perhaps even, “They forced their religion on me”?
Our society has taught us, to some extent, to blame our deep-seated problems on our parents. Why? Because we don’t want to take responsibility for our own actions.
Be that as it may, one side effect of this kind of thinking is that we place a strong emphasis on proper parenting. And we should. Parents do indeed have a God-given responsibility to raise their children properly. We certainly do not want to diminish that in any way.
However, when a child chooses the wrong path in life, blame is quickly laid at the feet of the parents, even when they’ve done everything they could to teach their son or daughter to not make those wrong choices in life.
In addition, even if that son or daughter is not blaming his/her parents, the parents sometimes blame themselves and wonder, “What did we do wrong?”
Whether it be the child blaming the parents or the parents blaming themselves, this all blows away the myth that a Christian home guarantees Christian children. And what Pastor John taught us this week is that, even if you could be the perfect parent, it wouldn’t guarantee that your children will grow up to be the people you want them to be.
What this all points to is what theologians call the Sin Nature—that part of our being that creates within us the inherent bent toward disobedience to God and, in many cases, to authority. And the Sin Nature lives within each and every one of us.
What parents need to remember as they are raising their children is that, as important as it is to teach them to obey the rules and do the right thing, all the right teaching in the world cannot override or counteract the Sin Nature. It can hold certain types of behavior in check. But it cannot keep your children from at least occasionally doing the wrong thing.
For this reason, what children need, more than proper moral training, is the gospel. For it is only in the benefits of salvation and the indwelling of the Holy Spirit that we can overcome the Sin Nature.
Let us be certain of this: Being a Christian does not mean that you will never sin again. The Sin Nature is not eradicated when you become a Christian. However, the Holy Spirit who indwells the Christian gives him/her the ability to obey God rather than the Sin Nature, if and whenever the individual chooses to submit to Him.
This is why, for the Christian, every aspect of life must be centered around and rooted in the gospel. This is no more true than in the home. Our relationships within the home are designed by God to represent and reflect our relationship with Him.
Ephesians 5:22-6:4 teaches about this, beginning with the relationship between the husband and the wife. On Sunday, PJ did an excellent job of stating that exemplifying the gospel for your children begins with having a strong marriage. For Eph. 5:25 tells husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the Church. In addition, verse 22 instructs wives to submit to their husbands as they would submit to the Lord.
These two commandments illustrate that the relationship between husband and wife is to depict the relationship between Christ and the Church. And indeed, Revelation 19:7-8 explicitly speaks of the Church as the bride of Christ.
As for the relationship between parents and children, the analogy is even clearer for many of us. For do we not call God our Father? Do not such passages as John 1:12-13 say that we are the children of God?
For this reason, parents ought to deal with their children as God deals with us, particularly when we disobey Him. And how does He deal with us? To be certain there are always certain consequences we must suffer. And sometimes those consequences are more severe than at other times. But God is always gracious and forgiving. He never stops loving us. He never refuses to forgive us. We don’t even have to “earn” His forgiveness by promising to do better in the future. Besides, He knows it’s a promise we can’t keep.


QUESTIONS FOR STUDY AND APPLICATION

1. Read Ephesians 5:22-6:4. How do the roles and responsibilities of each member of the family relate to and illustrate our relationship to God and to Jesus Christ?


2. What does this passage teach us about the character of God?


3. Read Proverbs 22:6. Since this is a general principle, rather than a specific promise, what measure of confidence can you have in it being fulfilled in your family? If you do not see it come about in your family, how will that affect your faith?